Criminals aren’t usually the smartest individuals you will ever come across. This is usually a factor in their capture, arrest, and conviction. If you aren’t familiar with this concept you should google “stupid criminals” sometime, it makes for some interesting reading. You will be surprised by the depths of human stupidity that you will read about. The stories that I will post will be true, and you will be right to question their veracity. However, I will provide corroborating evidence where applicable.
Man Robs Gun Shop
You may have heard of this account. It was widely reported at the time of occurrence. It starts at the H&J Leather & Firearms Ltd. in Renton Highlands, Washington (don’t get me started on the name of the gun shop, I picture a disturbing S&M type gun shop). The perpetrator of this stupidity was a man named David Zaback. This genius decided to rob the gun shop. He entered the shop brandishing his weapon of choice, a .38 caliber semiautomatic handgun (sorry, I couldn’t find more info on the gun). He was then involved in a shootout with an off duty, uniformed police officer (9mm semiautomatic) and one of the gun shop employees (10mm semiautomatic). The criminal was struck by 7 bullets (according to at least one report) and later died at the hospital.
I don’t know about anyone else, but could you think of a less appropriate place for an armed robbery? This is the kind of place that you rob after hours when everyone has gone home. Then you would be at a reduced risk of being shot and killed. At least the criminal brought a gun to a gun fight in this case. However, according to the reports he had to walk past the police officer’s car to get into the shop, the officer’s marked car. In addition, the shop was crowded at the time and according to reports the customers also pulled their weapons, but did not fire on the assailant. So, either this was a horribly ill-conceived burglary or an elaborate suicide success. Fortunately, no one else was injured in this debacle. It could have gone wrong in so many ways as some of the assailant’s shots hit the ammo behind the counter causing it to explode. It was a miracle that the burglar was the only person injured.
You can find more info on this story at the following sources:
Man Killed in Robbery Attempt
Officer In Store Shootout Identified
Inquiry Ordered In Man’s Death At Gun Store
Inquest: Officer Didn’t Fire Fatal Shot — Jury Rules In Slaying Of Gunman In Renton
Shot to the Groin
A man in Oregon shot himself in the groin after shooting his neighbor. The police reporting on the crime said that the man first shot his neighbor and then shot himself in the testicles as he was leaving the scene of the crime. He may be eligible for a Darwin Award for his actions. That’s right he shot himself while stuffing the gun down his pants. Personally, I blame movies and television for this incident. How many times have we seen an actor put a gun down his pants and then go running off. Sure, he gets away with it, but then his gun is only shooting blanks, which now applies to this MENSA candidate.
You can read the full story here.
Road Rage Shooter
This next story takes us to sunny Orlando, Florida where a man was involved in a road rage incident. This gentleman earned his spot on this list because he was probably doing something illegal after his rage started, if not before. The story is a bit muddy, but he ended up shooting himself in the leg. He was taken to the hospital and treated for his injuries.
You can find the story here.
Murder Suspect Shoots Himself
First of all I don’t believe in karma, but stories like this make me wonder if the universe has a sense of humor. The subject of this story, Brandon Mellon, is the prime suspect in a murder investigation in Spokane, Washington. He was fleeing the police when he thought he was going to be pulled over (probably just his paranoia acting up). So, he reached for his gun and shot himself in the leg. Where was he keeping his gun? That’s right in his pants. He severed a major artery in his leg and had to be hospitalized. Again, I don’t believe in karma, but to almost kill yourself after killing someone else makes me wonder about poetic justice and whether or not the universe has a sense of humor.
More details here.
Robbing the Salon
Two men robbed a salon in Richardson, Texas. One man was armed with a gun, the other with a knife. The witnesses heard a shot as the men ran away after the robbery. Yes, that’s right one of the men later checked himself into a hospital with a gunshot wound to the leg. In this instance, the wound was non life-threatening, but still somewhat poetic.
Read the story here.
Today, in conclusion, there are a couple of things to keep in mind when contemplating a crime that involves the use of a gun. The first thing to keep in mind is that robbing a gun shop during business hours is really bad idea. Think about that for a minute. Sure, gun shops may have quite a bit of cash on the premises, but they also have armed employees and armed customers. Going in, you might not be the best armed individual in the store. The second thing is that shoving a gun down your pants is another really bad idea. Hollywood may have glamorized such a move, but just think about where the gun’s barrel is pointed, right at your unmentionables.